Cheers
by machi-pan
Summary: "Wait, wait! So you're telling me that Kurokocchi and Akashicchi do a full personality slash brain swap when they're heavily intoxicated?" Aomine, six bottles of sake and five self-proclaimed guests. GoM fluff! Crack-ish


_summary:_ "Wait, wait! So you're telling me that Kurokocchi and Akashicchi do a full personality slash brain swap when they're heavily intoxicated?" Aomine, six bottles of sake and five self-proclaimed guests. GoM fluff! Crack-ish

_a/n:_ the idea was funny in my head. it's up to the reader whether there's boy/boy fluff or not. i'd like to think there is d: i guess it's a bit AU-ish since they're all aged 18-19 and it doesn't add up in canon verse

_disclaimer:_ i don't own KnB

_warnings:_ japanese phrases, boy/boy fluff (if you squint), swearing, and i have a love for uke!Akashi and seme!Kuroko; it probably shows in my work so expect an atmosphere of GoMxAkashi and KurokoxGoM

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><p>Cheers<p>

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><p>When heavily drunk, one would expect Akashi to inflict serious pain on people just to entertain himself, right? And Kuroko would trip over the air when finding something shiny, or mistake the floor for spilled vanilla milkshake and start slurping it up, right?<p>

The highlighted differences and similarities of Kuroko Tetsuya and Akashi Seijuro - start. First of all, they were both similar in figure. Slim, wiry but with lean muscles. Girls loved to comment on how flawless and soft-looking Akashi's skin was. And Aomine was sure that if they knew of Kuroko's existence, they would have enthusiastically compared their flesh together: pure white, delectable, almost porcelain.

Two: people were intimidated by them. Don't get Aomine wrong, it was a very different kind of intimidation for both. Akashi was a natural type; a glare directed at one, and they'd already be cowering. However, Kuroko had a space of weirdness around him; on the other hand, it left people feeling uneasy about their own assumptions, for example, who is this guy? How did he make it on the team? Is this weak thing really something more? Is he some sort of demon? Just what is he hiding...?

Third, they were both short. And small. Murasakibara loved to point this out whenever they were out of earshot. Perhaps he hid a small tender spot for small, cute (he would _never_ say this out loud) things. Or maybe a fetish. Whatever it was, Aomine didn't want to prod. "Kuro-chin and Aka-chin are so tiny. Which one is heavier, them or my right leg?" _Yes, he had once said that_. He digresses.

Similarities - end.

The first and very prominent _difference_ was between the auras that hanged around them like clingy girlfriends. While it was obvious that Kuroko had something similar to no presence at all, what people failed to notice was that Akashi was the complete opposite. For crying out loud, people _stepped aside_ in the hallways just to let him pass. It was something about his presence that drew people in from the minute he steps into a crowd or room. Kuroko, instead of sucking the interest, rebounded it and unintentionally turned the tables for there was something more interesting on the windowsill and not in his direction.

Second and final point, their personalities.

Before he starts on this one, Aomine would like to mentally point out the hues of the tendrils on their head. It was sort of ironic; Akashi with the fiery red hair and Kuroko with the icy blue hair. Red was passion, love and energy. Irrelevant. Red was the outgoing, the warmth in the hearth of the fire. Blue was calmness. Once again, irrelevant because blue was ice, and ice was coldness.

Akashi was fire. That was a fact. But inside, no one can deny the iciness that streak through his heart. At least, that's what people depict him as since his person was so _freaking_ scary, a face that screamed power and bloodlust. An individual would think that he had the tendency to murder or something.

Kuroko was ice. No one knew if he had a short temper or if he agreed with a subject until he voiced it out blatantly. It was all behind that damned poker face that was covering it all for humanity. But sometimes, his words held that sort of sincerity that reassures you: he's on your side. He's on my side. He's a human and he actually cares. Tetsu was ice, but he was warm underneath.

Oh how the Generation of Miracles were going to figure out how wrong they were the hard way.

**-They say alcohol lowers your inhibitions.-**

So it started out like this:

Aomine was alone, sober and sulking in his empty apartment flat. Basketball didn't give him much of a thrill anymore. He started to avoid attending practise drills. He started to avoid Tetsu's enthusiastic appeal for partaking in the sport. Instead, he adopted the dejecting intake that was Muraskibara's mindset. He didn't want to think anymore. So naturally, one would down a bottle of alcohol.

The age limit for a minor in Japan was 20, but Asians were tricky-looking; the majority looked younger than what they were supposed to be. And it was to his advantage that Aomine was large in structure, mature in the face and heavy on the muscles. They didn't even ask for identification. Take it in, suckers.

He had practically devoured half of the bottle (he didn't even know what it was, all he could tell you was that it was brown in colour) when his ringtone blared out, nearly leaping out of his skin. Cursing under his breath, he snatched up his phone from his pocket and with the flick of his wrist, flipped the top open.

"What?" He replied, irritated.

"_Yo~!"_ The high, delightful noise almost made him drop the phone. _"Aominecchi, what are you doing right now?"_

"Getting pissed." There was a dual meaning but he really shouldn't expect the mode to catch it. "What do you want, Kise?"

"'_Lucky~ 'kay, we're coming over!"_

"_What_!? Who the hell is _we_?"

"_Let's see. There's me and Akashicchi, Kurokocchi, Midorimicchi, Mura—"_

"I get it, dumbass." Aomine said.

"_Aominecchi is so mean,"_ Kise spoke through an evident pout. _"I'm trying to explain to him and then he just shoots me down!"_

"Okay, whatever! Just don't come here—how do you even know where I live anyway?"

"_Just a sec!"_ There was a slight commotion of mumbling and exchanges that Aomine heard over the phone, and he was tempted to just hang up. But Kise was already clearing his throat and speaking into the voice piece. "_Akashicchi said 'as the leader of the team, it is a requirement to know the whereabouts of...Akashicchi, what was next? Ah, I see—hey! It's my phone, Midorimacchi - let me talk to him!"_

Aomine shut his eyes, a hand reaching over his eyelids as he dragged it down exasperatedly. He cut Kise's inane blabber off.

"Don't come."

"_Eh? Why?"_

"I never invited you over!" Aomine cried, rising from the floor.

"_Doesn't Aominecchi want us as visitors__?" _There was another sulky pout over the phone, and if Aomine was there in physical form, he would have smacked him upside the head by now.

"Gee, what gave you that idea?" He deadpanned.

"_You're so stingy all the time, like Midorimacchi. Both of you are so mean. Why are you so mean? __Gah-! Akashicchi— c-careful with my phone!"_

"_We have every right to exploit your locale, Daiki. If you're going to invite us over, hurry up and do it." _That was not a note of questioning, it was a command and Aomine involuntarily shivered. _"Hmm? What was that? Ah, Atsushi wants to know if you have treats for him."_

"All of you piss off! I forbid anyone to come into my flat!" Was his natural response.

"_Oh? Shintarou looks eager to respond to this. Mind the switch__."_

"_So you own a flat instead of a household. We were stuck between two locations, one of which is a definite apartment 'flat'. Now we can deduct that you do indeed live there as opposed to the four-story."_

Aomine replied with a disbelieving silence, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers and tilting his head back in enragement. "Man." He whined out pitifully. "I'm going to hang up."

"_Limitations are hindrances, aren't they? Wherever the retreats are, you're flattened down. By the way, my lucky item today is-"_

"I don't care!" He yelled grumpily. "And if either one of you dares to take a step in here, so help it, I'll press charges, alright?!"

"_Areare~ Is Mine-chin doing something naughty_?"

Daiki's eyebrow twitched: he was already breathing heavily into the phone. "I'm hanging up. And what I said before is not going to change."

"_Ano...Aomine-kun, we're already at the front door."_

As if on cue, his apartment door started acting up on him, informing him of someone annoying banging on it from the other side. "Aominecchi~! Open up!"

"Ah to _hell_ with it!" He shouted out, as livid as he could be. Aomine slammed his phone on the ground, the impact letting the cover flip back into its position and effectively ending the call. Banging his head against the counter of his connected kitchen, he let his eyes stray on the booty he bought in order to cast away his thoughts. Aomine groaned as the unrelenting knocks didn't stop.

"Eh? He still hasn't opened it yet. How rude, Aominecchi!"

_Knock knock._

"Maybe Aominecchi expects a password!"

Who's there?

"Open Sesame! _Open Sesame_! Kise Ryouta! Big big boobs! Food! Two tonnes of burgers!"

"Kise-kun's passwords seem to be incorrect."

"Guess so. Maybe it's a secret knock!"

_Knock knock knock knock._

That's not how the joke's supposed to go. He'll finish it anyway.

A psychopath, a control-freak, a giant, a ghost, and an idiot without a key.

A psychopath, a control-freak, a giant, a ghost and an idiot without a key, who?

_Knock knock knock knock knockity knock._

His basketball team.

"Atsushi, try barging the door down."

"Eh? Wouldn't that hurt, Aka-chin?"

"Just do it."

"Okay~"

To Aomine's horror, he heard shuffles as if Murasakibara the insane giant was going to comply! He gave a frustrated shout, stomped over his carpet and swung the door open with such force that it banged against the wall parallel to it. In reply to the noise, Kuroko flinched, Midorima made a startled noise, Kise jumped out of his skin, Murasakibara calmly turned his gaze from the window to Aomine and Akashi merely raised an eyebrow. Just as the 'ganguro' was about to open his mouth and voice out his distress, someone beat him to it.

"Took you long enough." Akashi sounded mildly irritated as he pushed past Aomine.

"Sorry for the intrusion~" Murasakibara ducked his head down to walk past without sounding sorry at all.

"Wow! The size of this room is like one eighth of my house! Aren't you too big to live here, Aominecchi?" Kise walked through him before cooing at the posters of famous basketball players on his walls.

"Your reasoning skills astound even me." Midorima deadpanned, obviously not wanting to be here as he bent down to retrieve his stuffed dog before walking around Aomine.

"Aomine-kun looks like he is about the blow." Kuroko spent ten seconds staring indifferently into his eyes before sauntering around him, the door closing behind his arrival. "Pardon the intrusion."

"Geez! Just look at these walls. Aominecchi, you're such a pervert! What would Momoi-chan say?"

"Those posters are scandalous. But really, placing them out here for everyone to see? What an idiot. At least find it in yourself to _hide _them." Midorima said.

"Aominecchi is really Ahominecchi!"

"Where are the sweets?"

"Don't speak with your mouth full, Atsushi. And what of the candy stashed in your pockets?"

"Sorry Aka-chin."

"_What_."  
>Everyone stopped their ministrations to stop and stare confusedly at the fuming, dark-skinned peer before him.<br>"_The hell_. _Are you doing. In. My. House?"_

"Technically, it's not a house-" Midorima interrupted.

"Shut up! All of you just get out! _Now._" Aomine was probably trembling from head to toe; the result of detaining the fire about to unleash from his fury. Even more, he probably looked like a crazed maniac but that was the last of his worries. "I never invited anyone in. Hell, I refuse to bring in a stranded puppy, let alone five idiots! _Damnit._"

"Poor puppy-san~" Murasakibara hummed out, the end of a pocky sticking out of his mouth.

"But I like puppies." Kuroko genuinely looked upset.

"Temper, temper~!" Kise held his pointer finger up in accusation.

"Kise-kun, maybe we should-"

Kise picked up the bottle of whatever the hell he was drinking and held it up.

"Come back later..." Kuroko finished his suggestion but to no avail.

"_Eh~_? So Mine-chin _was_ doing naughty things after all."

"You do know that the legal age is 20, don't you?" Akashi commented with a lax, drone tone. "But what _I_ would like to know is how you plan to maintain the body of an athlete with garbage streaming through your system."

"When you break the law, the plague of misfortune will come down to attack you. It's the mark of idiocy." Midorima adjusted his glasses with the tip of his bandaged finger. "Just how irresponsible can you be? _Aomine_." He sneered.

"Haha, don't worry about it Ahominecchi. We won't turn you in!"

"Who's _Ahominecchi_!?" The 'aho' snapped, eyes flaring with almost defeated anger.

"Wow, everybody take a look; there's a bottle for each of us!"

"Hey-what!?" Aomine never felt so helpless in his life, but grunted as he caught the bottle that was flung at him. Kise threw one each at everyone, and with instinctive skills, each one was caught with the exception of Kuroko's. Instead, he slapped it to the side before his eyes widened in realization.

Everyone released their breath, however, when Akashi caught the bottle that was flung to the side. He stared accusingly at Kuroko, his chin lifting up as he began his admonishment. "Don't be so careless, Tetsuya." He said before handing over the bottle under Kise's silent plead.

"Sorry, Akashi-kun." He added quietly as he took the bottle from the pale hands.

"Everyone sit in a circle!" Kise ordered, pointing as he declared his own amusement. "Come on! This is going to be so much fun!"

"I can't believe we're actually doing as the idiot says," Aomine grumbled as he crossed his legs, leaning back on his counter just like before.

"Seconded." Midorima motioned as he took his seat next to Murasakibara and Kise. Even Akashi complied in his own wicked fascination, joining forces with the circle of miracles.

"OK~!" Kise sounded way to cheerful for his own good. "Let's play 'spin the bottle'!"

"Refused." Akashi droned.

"Never have I ever?"

"Stop pulling them out of your ass, Kise!" Aomine snapped.

"Truth or dare!"

"How troublesome~" Atsushi sounded put-out.

"Skulling competition?"

"Are you an idiot?" Midorima was unimpressed.

"_I got it_! Gay chicken!"

"..."

"...Kise-kun..." Kuroko said slowly as if trying to take caution with a psychopath.

"I give up with you lot!" The male model announced, trying not to feel rejected and failing miserably. "Let's just drink." He said, shoulders slumping.

There were a few protests filled with safety precautions and getting caught, courtesy of Akashi, Kuroko and Midorima, however, they were left overshadowed by the eagerness of majority. In complete unison, the group (bar Akashi and Kuroko) gulped down the first amount of the scorching liquid. Immediately, their throats burned and it was left for complaint.

"How do people even drink this shit on a daily basis?" Aomine wondered, surprising himself as he was formerly planning to drink it all by himself. He just realized now how idiotic that would have been. Knowing himself, he would jump out of the window, trying with all his might to fly just by flapping his ears. Or accomplishing one of his repressed, strong urges, like learning what it would sound like if a Dalmatian puppy walked into a meat presser. Or probably sawing off both of his hands under the thought that he could use them again later.

"Language, Daiki." Akashi reprimanded, his unopened bottle clutched safely in one hand. "I think that's enough for today. I will be confiscating these bottles for now."

"This is _my_ apartment and my life!" Aomine groaned.

"Aomine-kun should not take a liking to alcohol. It will stop him from growing." The phantom player spoke out from his silence, his eyes bland.

"Yeah, I really don't need to take that from you, Tetsu."

"Let's not forget the outcome of brain damage while it's still developing." Akashi added.

"Aomine-kun's thick head will protect him from that." Kuroko tittered in petty revenge for the ganguro's hurtful comment.

"Oi!"

"We're talking about _Aomine_ here. Knowing him, it's highly possible that he was brain damaged from birth." Midorima chimed in.

"_Why. Am I the victim here."_

"Wait a second. Kurokocchi and Akashicchi didn't drink from their bottles!" Kise accused in a loud, dissatisfied tone.

"Kise-chin is right." The giant of the group confirmed, moving on to his second pack of chocolate animals that was located on his right pants pocket. "It's disappointing, especially after Kise-chin made me drink something so gross."

"What, too cowardly?" Aomine sneered.

"Hardly that, Aomine-kun." Came Tetsu's soft reply.

"Superstitions?" Midorima said, joining in on the fun.

"No; common sense." Akashi replied with a hint of a glare directed at Midorima.

"_No; _just no fun!" Kise shot up at that. "You two are the party-poopers of the team. As a consequence, you have to finish your bottles or else I'm not leaving Aominecchi's perverted room!"

"Why is it aimed at me!?" Instantaneously, the ace glared accusingly at his closest friend. "You better drink it all, Tetsu."

Kuroko stared at the mile bottle, his gaze unwavering as he lifted his head up to stare pleadingly at his light. Aomine looked away before he got sucker-punched in by those begging baby blue orbs.

"Akashicchi too!" Kise said.

Said Akashi's menacing eyes stared at the bottle in question, similar to Kuroko's actions and gazed back up at the firm eyes of the team except Kuroko's which seemed to be wondering helplessly to the side.

"I will drink _half_ of it." He stated firmly.

"So will I." His pale, blue haired companion defended.

"Tetsuya, you will not use me as a shield in the future."

Icy blue eyes stared at fire red. The glint in both eyes barely noticeable, but still there presence-wise. Both of them were challenging the other to make the first move and the tension was building up to the point where Kise sighed impatiently, fingers tapping irritably on the floor. When neither of them decided to not move at all, Murasakibara took his chance to speak up.

"I think Kise-chin will not be satisfied until it is all in Aka-chin and Kuro-chin's tummies."

"Right!" Kise confirmed with a devilish wink.

"Will you just hurry up?" The ace whined. "I want to sleep after this long and very hard day. And I want to sleep without five retards staring down at me."

"That sounds perverted when you're the pervert Mine-chin."

"Am not!"

"You did just make a dirty input," Midorima pointed out. At Aomine's confused look, he sighed as if talking to a clueless infant. "Think about what you just said. Idiot pervert."

"Let's see—I..." Aomine full on blushed, and Kise longed for his camera. Just think of the shots he could take. "I—I _damnit_! I didn't realize until you pointed it out! You're the real pervert here!"

Midorima scoffed. "Hardly. It only means you're perverted without even trying."

"Ah? Mine-chin, so talented..."

"Can everyone shut the hell up and finish this quickly so you can all scram!?" Aomine was, needless to say, exhausted with today's events. He was actually pondering if this all was a dream and God was just laughing at him. Well, laugh your lungs out Kami-sama, for if you do gain amusement from remorse, Aomine was selling a killer show.

Eventually, Akashi and Kuroko were taking their hesitant first sips.  
>Eventually, half of their bottles were downed.<br>Eventually, Kise was cheering them on until both of them refused anymore.

And it was after this 'eventually' when the chaos abruptly started. Aomine would like to point out once again that alcohol lowers your inhibitions. He knows for a fact that if Kise was narrating this, he would have said something like 'alcohol shows your true colours'. Although it was only partly true, it was a horror in its own game.

It was the first time where both of their eyes met halfway. Akashi usually had his eyes narrowed in a sense of domination while Kuroko always had a lifeless soul reflected in them, like he was in the middle of a day-dream. This time, their eyes were halfway between the two levels and it thoroughly scared the shit out of Aomine.

"Uh...Kise?" Aomine asked aloud yet his eyes never strayed away from the two short victims. "Was this really a good idea."

"Hmm? Why doubt me now?"

Aomine stared at his 'shadow' who was curled up in a fetal position, his bottle knocked over and already pausing the remnants on the ground next to him. He was also shivering at a deadly pace, his sight settled on his arms which were curled around his knees. Akashi, on the other hand, had a low whine building up at the back of his throat, eyes raking up at the ceiling while he steadily rocked himself. They stopped acknowledging the presences around them five sips ago.

"No reason." Aomine replied steadily. "Just the fact that they're both beginning to terrify me."

"Kise-chin is going to get his work schedule tripled when Aka-chin wakes up tomorrow. Kise-chin is stupid."

"You can't just pin this all on me!" Kise panicked.

"Yes we most definitely can." Midorima hmphed.

Kuroko mumbled something into his arms.

Aomine hastily shushed the team members before facing the trembling mess that was Kuroko. "What was that, Tetsu?" He asked as gently as he could manage—though gentle was hardly a look on him.

"Fire." The phantom player murmured.

"Hah~?"

"I think he said fur?" Kise deciphered.

"Mido-chin's toy can substitute~"

"Never!" Midorima shouted, possessively huddling his dog plush to his chest.

"May I have some matches, Daiki?" The boy suddenly stopped shaking and stood up calmly on his two feet. Having to stare up at Kuroko gave him a foreign, frightening feeling but he shrugged it off.

"Sure—top cupboard-hey wait, why?" Aomine's eyes shot wide open. "Did you just call me—?"

"The matches, Daiki."

"Top cupboard, to the right. Why?"

"I'm going to set this place on fire."

"_Okaaaay_!" Aomine said in defeat, rising up to the balls of his feet as his hands were raised defensively. He placed them on his shadow's thin shoulders, firmly gripping them as he laughed nervously. "I'm walking you home. You're only two blocks away, right? Haha - guys help me out and carry Akashi, will you?"

"Don't touch me." Kuroko scrunched his face in distaste. It took a while to register what just happened, but when it did, the Generation of Miracles minus two shot their terror-stricken eyes towards Kuroko, swearing that their hearts must have stopped. The hands left his shoulders just as quickly as they attached themselves.

"_Uwah_!" Kise rose up from his seat as he took in Kuroko's situation. The panic was steadily seeping in. "Kurokocchi has the facial capacity to hold an expression! I'm scared!"

The ace was stricken to the level of stuttering out his words. "Tetsu—did you just—did you-?"

"Spit it out," The small young man offered cruelly. Alarm bells were ringing in Aomine's head, it was just so unfitting to hear those words and tone coming out from that presence-less body. Was this really happening? Oh dear God, the Lord really was doing a funny on him! He mentally begged his own mouth to move but all he could manage was the terror of silence.

He stared at the rest of the group, convinced that he was hearing things but was slightly, only slightly, reassured when he noticed Midorima's jaw hanging wide open as he took in the scene.

"T-tetsu," Aomine started, a sweat drop rolling down the flesh of his forehead. "Are you...okay?"

"No, actually, I think I'm adopting some sort of sickness. Perhaps it has to do with the asshole in such close proximity to me." The soft-spoken voice had such a hardened tone.

Kise dropped his phone and his bottle. "This—this—" The blond backed up into the wall. "This is supposed to be Akashicchi's inner person!" The voice truly did sound fearful.

"...Why does Kise have such low thoughts about me?" A timid voice stood out as Akashi slowly rose from his sitting position, staring at his offender with begging, _cute_ rounded eyes. "He really thinks I'm an evil person?"

The lollipop was _spat_ out from Atsushi's mouth.

"Aominecchi help, I'm-I'm _scared_!" Kise was indeed. His knees were wobbling and his face was the perfect picture of a victim in a horror movie, about to get butchered like a pig.

"So am I, Mine-chin." Gone was the lightness from Murasakibara's tone and fear was the arrival, distorting his words as he came to a stand next to the imitating blond player.

"Calm down! Just calm down!" Aomine helplessly ordered, his hands practically flailing in rapid gestures.

"Can I hold the puppy, Midorima?" Akashi scooted closer to his teammate, sitting on his haunches as he beamed enthusiastically.

Midorima squealed, way too freaked out by his personality-fluctuating captain, surrendering the toy dog by slamming it at the floor. It was his personal sacrifice as he stood up and staggered to a different corner of the room, pointing right between Kise's eyes. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault!?" Kise said in blind panic. "I was waiting for someone to stop me! Everyone always stops me!"

"_There's a reason for that!"_

"So why didn't anyone this time!"

"Maybe because we're sick of your shit!" Aomine said. "Oh my God, _what do we do_?"

"But now we finally get to see Aka-chin's and Kuro-chin's true colours. Who would have known? So weird." The giant added as an afterthought, his fear already fading away as he contently leaned down to pick up his newly-found bag of treats.

"I hate to say it, but the guy is right." Aomine declared. "This is actually who they are, right?"

Midorima who had his eyebrows still arched up felt a sweat drop rolling down his forehead in fear. "What cosmic irony,"

"Wait, wait! So you're telling me that Kurokocchi and Akashicchi do a full personality slash brain swap when they're heavily intoxicated?" Kise shot out in pure disbelief.

"It would appear so," Midorima answered as calmly as he could, however it made no effect as his hands were shaking.

"But this ruins their whole image!" Kise was on the dramatic ground of sulking.

"That's not the issue here, damnit!" Aomine was grinding his teeth until his gums felt raw. "Help me out here—gah! Tetsu! Tetsu, no!"

In a flash, the dark-skinned teenager was on the other side of the room, arms wrapping around Kuroko's waist and pulling him backwards, preventing him from opening the cupboard and grabbing the dreaded weapon for burning the place down; the box of matches. The resistance was so strong that Aomine was having difficulty pulling back, the small back pressed right up against his hard chest, digging his heels into the floor and successfully getting him out of range.

"Bad Tetsu!" He scolded.

"Put. Me. Down." The figure was so still in his hold that Aomine's blood ran cold. Kuroko tilted his head to the side so one aspect of his eye met Aomine's. "Now."

Aomine shook his head slowly, frightened for his life but knowing that he needed to be firm as it was when your best pal drunk himself out to be a psycho freak. "No."

The dark skinned teen gave a surprised shout as Kuroko dived down in his arms to reach for his knife set, aiming for a particularly big one. Letting out a string of curse words, Daiki yanked him back and pulled him off the floor again, hands under his armpits, up high and far away from the kitchen objects.

"You were going to kill Aomine!" Akashi shot out, alarmed, throwing the stuffed dog down and stamping his foot on the ground.

"Seijuro," Kuroko offered with a kind, wicked smile. "Won't you just shut up?"

There was another five second silence. It wasn't a good silence either—not the kind after having good long laughs. Not one where the guy said something incredibly insensitive to the damsel. This silence was pure 'holy sh—' and so far, the Generation of Miracles were getting far too many of those silences tonight.

Eyes darted to Akashi, to Kuroko, to Akashi, and then—

Akashi's eyes eased into distress, becoming round and wide. Kise, Midorima, Murasakibara and Aomine either raised their arms up as if to protect themselves from the plague or released shocked shouts. The small, thin shoulders of Akashi started shaking, and everything began to start in slow motion. The red-headed captain hoisted his head and the circle screeched.

"Kuro-chin is being psychotic!" Murasakibara expelled out, on the verge of hyperventilating. "_Akachin is crying_!" _Now_ he was hyperventilating.

"How unexpected nanodayo." Midorima said. And then fainted.

"Shut up, shut up!" Kise announced, waving his arms. In quick succession, he padded forwards, leant down and pulled Akashi into his arms, his hand comfortingly rubbing his small back. "Shhh, it's okay Akashichi!" Kise encouraged as if talking to some small kid. "It's okay! You can stop crying now. It's not your fault that Kurokochi turns into your expected persona- a mega bastard when he's drunk,"

This only made Akashi sob harder.

Aomine glared at the small phantom player in his arms in accusation. "Damnit Tetsu, why can't you just get drunk like a normal person!?"

"Kise-chin is doing it wrong!" Murasakibara looked agitated. "Give Aka-chin to me!"

"You'll only squish him!" Kise stuck his tongue out at the giant and cradled the captain into his chest protectively.

"Give me Aka-chin!"

"No!"

"Kuroko, stop squirming! Murasakibara and Kise shut the hell up, Akashi stop crying and for God's sake, will someone PLEASE HELP THAT GREEN BASTARD ON MY FLOOR!?" Aomine emitted from the back of his throat, patience wearing thin as his grip on his best mate turned deadly.

Everybody looked at him before continuing what they were doing.

The gaguro groaned, turning Tetsu so he could lean his head frustratingly on the phantom's back as he growled lowly in his throat. Suddenly, he was struck with an idea. "Oi, Tetsu! Tell them to stop, would ya? If they listen to Akashi and you're the converted Akashi, they'll listen to you!"

"Everybody be quiet and do what he says." His voice was still quiet, only raised a notch. "Seijuro had better stop crying before I slash a blade through his wrist. I'll beat Ryouta up so hard that he'll have to stop his modelling career, deprive Atsushi from all sweets and _dent Daiki's skull somewhere where it hasn't been dented_. Shintarou is the only one behaving, use a second or two to absorb this lesson and take after him."

Everyone stared at the unconscious teen who twitched as if on cue.

"Aomine-kun will give me the matches." Kuroko demanded, switching his use of names cunningly.

"Well sure, Tet—OI!"

"This is not a converted Aka-chin, Mine-chin." Murasakibara calmly stated. "This is the drunk version of Aka-chin."

"But drunk Aka-chin—I mean Akashichi is over here!" Kise said, turning the captain in his arms for everyone to see.

"That is the drunk version of Kuro-chin."

"You're all idiots." Kuroko announced.

"Aka-chin is still crying. Let me hold him."

"No!"

"Kise-chin."

"No!"

"_Kise-chin_."

"Release me now, Daiki."

"No, Tetsu!"

"Now."

"No!"

As baby blue eyes scanned a tiny body with a mess of flaming red tendrils atop his head, wrecked with sobs and pearls of moisture leaking within those contradictory coloured eyes, they narrowed significantly.

"_SHIT_! OW!" Aomine dropped Kuroko and nursed his left hand which was harbouring a particularly bad bite mark.

"If either of you place one finger on Seijuro _or_ come into a four metre diameter with him, I will see to it personally that the offender will go through a session of castration. Then I will proceed to hang their removals right on top of their front door to substitute for mistletoe or wind chimes. I will be kind enough as to let the both of you decide which substitution would commence." The smallest of the group announced with the quietest, most deadly tone of voice. "So,

"Ryouta,"

Kise gulped.

"Atsushi."

Murasakibara shrunk further into the wall.

Then Kuroko gave them an innocently genuine smile that would have put them to ease had it not been for the rarity of smiles on its own and the complete gentility in them.

"How would you like your testicles as wind chimes?"

In less than thirty seconds, Murasakibara hoisted up the comatose Midorima up onto his right shoulder and stepped out of the door, already heading through the main door of the housing community. In less than twenty seconds, Kise ran out with tears in his eyes but with the most cheerful expression he could hold, arms raised to wave goodbye.

"They're your problem now, Aominecchi!" Kise hollered out excitably as the three figures disappeared from the poor boy's sight.

"Wait!" Aomine held up a helpless hand, a dejected feeling pounding in his friends. "Great!" He screamed out after them as the door slammed. He set out with a peeved expression—the last remaining ration of 'sane' teammates _ditched_ him. Bastards. And he couldn't go after them since he didn't have the money to pay damages for his property being burned. He could feel his ears burning up like he was embarrassed, but he was far from embarrassed and instead very close to blowing off his top and ripping everything he sees. Behind him, he heard the exchange of foreign words and tone coming out from his captain's and his best mate's mouths.

"Seijuro, you will comply with everything I say."

"Okay."

"Seijuro, jump out the window."

"Okay."

Aomine literally fell between the two like a tonne brick, acting as a divider as he held his arms out to push them apart, but kept them at close bay with his grip like iron on either of their shoulders.

"_Damnit_! Set your priorities!" He barked at Kuroko, his eyes twitching and his body trembling with helplessness to the situation. He was beyond frustrated now.

"Aomine, please move." Came the soft voice of Akashi, lacking in command and harshness. "I need to jump out the window."

"You do." Kuroko replied.

"Like hell!" Aomine shouted, his volume getting louder by the second. And it wasn't as if he got enough complaints ringing up in his room with his neighbours getting peeved at his loud voice. "Akashi, you are not dying today! Tetsu, you are not _killing _anyone! And anyway, if Akashi gets murdered he'll probably come back from the dead to seek revenge."

"Aomine-kun sounds drunk." Kuroko unexpectedly stated with his tone back into that lulling softness.

Forgetting that his 'shadow' was in the zone of Akashi's absence, while still gripping the captain, he gripped a bundle of material from Tetsu's shirt and hauled him upwards by it, his collar tugged.

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY._"

The boy merely blinked. "Aomine-kun, please put me down. You are wrecking my shirt."

"Stop acting like Tetsu!"

Kuroko cocked his head, his dull gaze returning as he stared right into Aomine's eyes. "But...I am Tetsu."

A vein popped up in Aomine's head. "I _know_ you are."

"Then why is Aomine-kun saying I should not act like myself?"

"Because you're not yourself!"

"I am myself."

"No, you're no—this is one of the most stupid conversations a guy can have!" Aomine vented out, the aura around him noticeably darkening as his brought his hand up to smack his own face.

Aomine stopped all ministrations as he felt a small hand resting on his shoulders. He looked up with shock and glared defensively.

"Aomine-kun, please calm down. I am sober now." (The second meaning: I don't have the urge to kill or set fire to anyone anymore.)

Aomine gazed up at his teammate with a puzzled, disbelieving look. Was that possible...? To just—so quickly release the substance without anything to soak it up?

Kuroko felt the need to explain. "Even though I have a low alcohol tolerance, I am the quickest to snap out of a drunken state. You can say that I get the best of both worlds." The words were so monotonous that an individual would love to colour it all up. Aomine idly wondered how Kuroko knew this about himself but escaped the thought willingly. Tetsu stared up at him with the wish to abscond. "Now if you'll excuse me, I will be leaving."

"What!?" He cried. "You can't just leave me here. And just _why_ the hell do you become a psycho when you're drunk!?"

"Aomine-kun should not call Akashi-kun a psycho." Kuroko reprimanded with a straight face. Aomine now had no thoughts of his 'shadow' becoming a trigger-happy individual while drugged.

"I didn't call him a-! Damnit, never mind! Why are you leaving me like this?"

"That's simple. I do not want to stay here when Akashi-kun passes out, wakes up with a hangover and remembers. Goodnight, Aomine-kun."

"Wait!" Aomine felt a case of déjà vu as he held up his hand helplessly but the door quietly closed, indicating Kuroko's absence. He searched helplessly around the room to see if he was still there—Kuroko did have no presence after all; it gave him a surge of hope. It deflated quickly when he spotted no tufts of pale blue hair. He should have known anyway; Kuroko with no inhibitions was icy. So icy that Aomine felt like he needed to shiver. Right now. And cry.

"Aomine, do you hate me?" The sound was pitiful. "You must hate me..."

The young man in question widened his eyes before cautiously turning around, giving his intoxicated captain a puzzled face. Akashi acting like a sensitive child still hadn't registered in his brain yet.

"What?" Aomine responded before groaning and rubbing the back of his neck. "Geez—I—_no_! Nobody hates you, okay? You'll probably hate _me_ when you snap out of this weirdness. Or everyone."

"I'll try not to." He sniffed.

Something in Aomine's heart broke as he took in the sight of round, pleading eyes that looked so adorable and disturbing at the same time while on the captain's face. That sort of expression should _not_ be on his captain's face.

The ganguro gritted his teeth and extended his arm, trying not to be too put-out as he placed his hand on Akashi's shoulder. The contact made him wince (in fear of a slap) but boldly patted him in a reassuring manner.

"There there." He said with an uncertainty in his voice. Perhaps to Akashi it was an occasional feeling of conversation but Aomine felt so awkward and cheated on. _I mean, we had to endure him almost killing us with his scissors, impeccable aim and glare and the whole time he can be reduced to this!?_

When the sniffs died down, Aomine inwardly sighed in relief. As a young man, he knew he had many sights to see. 'Akashi Seijuro crying' he didn't expect on that list since ever. Pigs flying maybe, but _Akashi crying_? And even worse, he had to deal with it on his own. Yet, a vulnerable Akashi was indeed a sight to see. It was downright impossible, moving, disturbing, screech-worthy and...endearing at the same time.

The warmth disappeared under his hand, and Akashi was walking away from him. He honestly felt like a babysitter, babysitting a child with severe problems. He...probably was, now that he thought about it.

"Where are you going?" He asked slowly.

"Jumping out the window,"

He almost didn't finish his sentence as Aomine kicked his legs from underneath him, grabbed him by the waist and slammed him onto a nearby couch, keeping a hand firm on his abdomen to prevent him from getting up again.

Once done, Aomine sighed, found an unfinished bottle and decided to have some sake himself.

* * *

><p><em>i didn't expect such an awesome response, thank you so much to the readers! ^^<br>it is up to the reader whether Kuroko was lying about not being drunk any more just to escape his babysitter's clutches, venture outside and set fire to a small kitten or something_


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